Thursday, August 28, 2008

Let be truth be told...

So I have always been honest with this blog, so i don't feel the need to hide anything at this point. But things will be changing shortly. If you know me at all, then you know I don't do serious and I try to be optimistic in what i do, but some people change and some people don't.

The situation simply put is Ben and I are over after 2 years and I am moving out of the apartment that we have only lived in together for 3 months. We never should have moved in when things were rough before, but there definitely was a defining choice that made this decision concrete. much as I would love to stay in our apartment seeing as most (90%) of the stuff is mine, I can't afford to stay here myself, so Ben is staying and I am moving out. I let him know last night that I was signing a lease and moving out, and although I had mentioned it before, I am not sure he actually thought I would do it.

Sometimes as much as you want something, it isn't meant to be!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The size of an Egg!!!

What? I know, that was my reaction, but before I get to the best part of my story, I will start from the beginning.

So as I think most of you know (ha, mac and Nicole), I had surgery Monday. For the two lovely lady lumps that I had in my right breast. So here is my run down of how Monday and the following day went.

I got to the pre-op office at 8:30. Here is where I would be getting a wire placed in my boob to guide the surgeon's way to the smaller of the two "lady lumps. This is the same office and room that I had my ultrasounds and biopsy's 9 months ago, so nothing new. They cleaned me up and numbed the right breast and started by taking the ultrasound to find the lump that needed the wire. Then they proceeded with the wire placement. AAhhh! My breast tissue is particularly dense (it is cuz I am tough) so they had a hard time and had to (what I like to call) jam the wire down into it. ahhh! I couldn't feel anything but the pressure, but just knowing what they were doing is bad enough.

So then I had to go get a mammogram with the wire in there. Boys, that is where they put your breast in between two flat plates and press in order to make your breast a pancake. Only I had a wire in there....again. Ahhh! So pretty shortly after that, I sat down and was waiting for her to print the images and I started to feel woozy and nauseous. So the next thing I know, i am ont eh ground and have the 4 nurses around me with a wet cloth on my forehead. I never pass out....ahhh! So I got to ride in a wheelchair down to the hospital area where my actual surgery would take place and for the rest of the day, the nurses and doctors kept referring to my "earlier incident" which meant I passed out.

So they don't let me wait in the waiting room for the 2 hours until my surgery. They go ahead and put me in my bed and attach my IV. Fluids which I needed seeing as I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything this morning. So I wait out the rest of time watching new patients come in and go out. I talk to several nurses and my anesthesiologist, and my surgeon. They all check to make sure I am the correct patient and we are doing the correct procedure.

Oh forgot to mention, at the wire placement, they all thought it was my LEFT breast...WRONG! I had to keep telling them it is my right. The one with the big X on it now.

So finally they wheel me in on my stretcher to the operation room. Ahhh, bright lights. And my Anethesologoist tells me she is going to give me the "magical cocktail" now, that is what she actually said. So as I am awaiting the drowsiness to kick in....

I wake up and the surgery is done. Ahh, I love drugs! ha! I look at the clock and realize it is 2 something and that Ben has been waiting for over an hour and a half. oops! I am covered in several blankets and can't really feel much. So the nurse sees me and realizes I am waking up, gets me some juice, etc. The doctor comes by and says everything went well and that the big it goes, was the size of an EGG! What? There went half my boob. Take it all if you want. I was hoping they would take a little out of the left one too. No such luck!

So anyways, Ben comes in and they wheel me down to the car and I have no problem scarfing down an entire schlotsky's sandwich within and hour. Oh and a chocolate cookie! oh and a fudgecicle. (sp?) I was hungry, what can I say?

So I felt pretty good the rest of the day. By the time I got home it was around 3 and I lounged around and took it easy. I didn't even have to take my vicatin until i went to sleep that night. And really no pain so far. I DO have to wear this ridiculous 1950's grandma support bra for 2 WEEKS. 2 WEEKS! ahhh!

It is awful i sware, I have actually taken some pictures of it on, so if I get enough courage I will post the picture of it. I am going to have to plan my outfits for the next two weeks around it. Today it is a turtle neck. Not to mention I still have tons of gauze (sp?) in it. HOTT!

And I can't shower or drive for 48 hours. Gross! I took a bath last night and did the whole sink hair rinse too cuz I couldn't take it. I am just kinda drowsy now. And trying to actually get some work done. So it is interesting.

Yup, but that is about it. I get to take the gauze off tonight and see it. Ahh! I will let you know how that goes. As for now, just trying to make it through the work day without falling asleep at my desk. And did I mention I forgot my pain pills today. bummer!

Signing off,
One egg short of a dozen,

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I survived, although my joints

There should really be two separate blogs today for what has happened in the past week or so, but we will just stick to one.

So my trip to San Fran was a success. Fun, good weather, and the race on Sunday morning wasn't as bad as I had built it up to be. I took my camera ont he run with the thought that i would take a picture every mile. That lasted for about 2 miles before I realized I didn't want people to actually see these photos. I did get a small picture of the de Young Museum in the Golden Gate Park while I was running though.

So as I promised I am going to give my mile by mile recap and see how it compares to my pre-race expectations. Here it goes!

Mile 1- Kinda chilly, good thing I have this jacket on. Found my good pace and can still see Mac and Sarah.
Mile 2- The park is pretty and is keeping me entertained, I should have taken that short cut back there.
Mile 3- oooh a refuel station and some good music...Kanye west, make me stronger...Gatorade and water and gel...ummm vanilla, this tastes like pudding.
Mile 4-5 - kinda a blur but more park running and still haven't stopped to walk! Oh I ran past the finish line for the first half of the marathon and wish I had decided to go with that because I would be done already!
Mile 6-7 - ahh the edge of the park! yeah! Still running and half way there! The altitude thing definitely helped. I am not complete out of breath yet, but the legs are getting a little tired.
Mile 8- okay some exhaustion and boredom and out of shapeness is kicking in. My legs are starting to feel funny, more or less the joints and stuff.
Mile 9 - BOYS DON"T READ - i started this morning (WTF, are you freaking kidding me?)and now my cramps are killing me. I think I need to stop at a porta potty and go, but I don't want to stop. My ankle joints are getting stiff. Oh crap that is a huge slope down hill...awkward!
Mile 10-11 - these and the previous mile are the worse miles. tired and still aways from the finish line, not to mentionthe cramps in my stomach and joint stiffness in my knees and ankles.
Mile 12- getting close, I can see the stadium and know I am soo close...this helps not to mention the guy next to me running that just passed by and said "your so close, keep going" that helped, honestly
Mile 13- ahhhh almost there, so many people! I think i will pick up the pace, oh shit there is the 3:00 hour pace runner ahead of me, I need to pass him....HERE I GO!
Finish line....sprinted past the 3 hour guy with all the energy I had left...stopping running was awkward my feet wanted to keep going. ahh water, banana, and Gatorade...sweet. Now where are Mac and Sarah? ahh getting massages!

I DID it! and finished under the time I wanted too. I can proudly say I am glad I did it...and what, i think I could and would do it again! What city next?

SO that was it. The people that stood by the side of the route the whole way cheering us on helped tremendously, not the mention the refueling stations and the music in my ipod. Michael Bolton was lovely to hear. Someone said my name once and I got confused and then remembered it was on my bib. Bib number 24384! sweet! My final finish time was something like 2:55 I think but I subtract like 3 minutes for the potty break and the time I had to stop to stretch my tight calves. So not horrible for my first one and not great but I was never much of a long distance runner.

I could sprint with the best of them. Next time I will shoot for under 2:30 and hopefully make it. So that was it for the race. We had to hurry back to our hotel to shower and get out before check out time and then hung around the park next to the Modern Museum of Art until our flight at 8pm. We got a lot of free stuff too which was nice!

Next blog: when I got back Sunday night from all of this, i had some unfortunate news which is changing g a lot of things and deals with the relationship status change on y facebook profile! Stay tuned...